Wrong!

Rain · Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 180 Location: Philadelphia, PA

It's no secret of how I feel about Rosie, but this is just wrong. But, on the other hand, it's funny as hell. I copied this from a police website.

NEW YORK. AP- May 28, 2007 1128 pm.

FDNY reports that the ABC studios on W 66th Street are on fire and burning this evening in what has spread to 3 alarms. The fire has effected the News room, the set of a few soap operas and parts of the day-time show, The View, mainly the dressing room area.
Witnesses say they saw a short fat white person, possibly female running from the scene, laughing as she ran.

NEARLY BROKE TAXI AS SHE GOT IN

Witness Ben Dover got a glimpse of the creature as she exited the studio. "I was standing on the corner, and heard this cackling sound. I looked over my shoulder and saw this pig-type woman running like the apes from Planet of the Ape movies run. She was shoving food into her mouth as she waddled away." She ran across Columbus Ave and into a cab. Mr Dover saw the back end of the cab sag and the wheels rub against the wheelwells as it took off. "You could hear the engine whine and struggle down Broadway."
Adds friend Jack Meoff,"Dude she was hideous, I thought it was a mask she was wearing, but realized, Whoa! This is like June or something, not Halloween. I dont think Ill ever get that image out of my brain." Cops were following a trail of HoHo's and twinkies from out of the studio where the trail went cold in the middle of Broadway. Sources believe she escaped in a cab. "Were looking to question one Rosie ODonell in regards to this fire. Were checking the Popeyes, and fast food restaurants in the area," said police sources. ODonell was recently fired from ABC, even thought she said she quit. We all know she was canned because of her ability to shiit out of both ends.
Fire sources beleieve the fire started in Rosies former dressing room, where she had a stove and deep fryer installed for her personal use. ABC said, that Rosie used the deep fryer so much they had to have a production assistant empty the grease trap twice a day, yet Rosie insisted that the grease be saved for her "personal" use with her girlfreind.

A FIRE HAZZARD

The cans of grease in her dressing room created an unsafe situation.
According to her personal assistant, Helga Dykeman, Rosie was wearing corduroy pants and as she walked around her dressing room putting dildos and sex toys in a box, the friction of her tighs rubbing together caused a spark and possibly ignited the grease trap which the lowly PA was cleaning at the time. The spark ignited the grease fumes creating a small fire. Rosie then let rip a 7-note 15 second fart which acted as an excellerent to the cans of grease. She was quoted as saying,"Hey Barbra! This is what I think you AND the skinny B!TCH Hasselbeck!" Ms Dykman suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns over her body, but is expected to fully recover for the yet-to-be-announced LillithFair concert. The Production Assistant suffered hearing damage and singed nose hairs and was promptly promoted to Creative Director for The View.
"Between Rosies highly gasous diet and the stored grease thats a recipe for disaster," said FD Battalion Chief Norbert Nimrod.

Rosie was spotted running out of the cab and into Central Park, where she was quickly shot by an 11yr old w/ a .50 cal pistol. "Y'all got some UUUGLY-asss women up here. Where Im from, we call them men!" He was given a lifetime membership into the NRA and a 3 Bedroom Suite in the Trump Tower.

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"She is severely fuckable, isn't she?"-
Alien Resurrection